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Your wellbeing: generosity - let them have it!
By: Sean Armstrong
Last updated: Tuesday, 7 September 2021

Revd Chris McDermott, Lead Chaplain for the University of Sussex
Last month I skipped a beat in the series of reflections exploring the significance or the ten Buddhist precepts.
Previously we had looked at the theme of recognising our interconnectedness with others, however flawed we may deem them to be (seventh precept). We skipped one precept to reflect on actively seeking harmony and eschewing inappropriate and disproportionate anger (ninth precept) – for reasons mentioned in the last article. We now backtrack and reflect on the eighth precept:
Give generously: do not be withholding
But just a reminder for those who may chance to be reading this article without having read the series this far. We are not reflecting on the precepts as a way of promoting a specific religious agenda. My understanding of the precepts, regardless of their place in Buddhism, is that they speak to the deepest level of our humanity: they represent what are at our best as human beings.
Here, the invitation is to orientate ourselves in the direction of a generous nature that takes our responsibility, as far as is possible, for each other and our wider communities. At times we will be the recipients of that generosity and at other times we will be the ones offering it. The former is probably the most difficult for us. I have known people - some virtual strangers, some friends - who have fallen on difficult times. Some were in very vulnerable situations – homeless, out of work, or vulnerable in some other aspect of their lives.
It was very often the case that they were resistant to accepting help - or at least, in the end, accepted it with great reluctance. For some it was the fear that in accepting some form or support they were creating obligations for themselves - however clear it was made that there was no need to pay something back or return something in kind, etc. There was often the working assumption that one should always be strong, invulnerable, capable, self-sufficient, and in control their life. But the reality is that sometimes we are at the top of our game, sometimes we feel like we have hit rock bottom. Work is lost, relationships founder, life takes unexpected turns that are beyond our control.
When people I help start to protest, I remind them that while they may currently be on the receiving end of others’ generosity one day they will be the ones offering similar support. I could say that with conviction - having been homeless, out of work and in a vulnerable situation myself over a couple decades ago - and have immense gratitude for the generosity of those helped me through that time.
I have emphasised so far, the capacity to receive the generosity of others. That is because I suspect that our capacity to be generous is related to our capacity to be the recipient of generosity. We are able to recognise our fellowship (com) in the suffering (passio) of others i.e. have compassion. Giving ourselves to others – by way of our time, presence, attention, a listening ear, energy and, if possible, through our material resources. People we know, or strangers in our midst who may wander into our lives carrying immense burdens and needs. They may require some of our time, energy and such material support as we may be fortunate enough to be able to offer for others’ wellbeing.
Perhaps the measure of our humanity may well lie in our readiness to let them have it.