Christmas on Campus

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The Christmas Poem

Christmas is approaching and the time has come for cheer
(Although the weather we've been having may instil a sense of drear),
Now's a good time to smile and indulgently hear
Our perspective on the 'joyful' events of the year.

98 saw the coming of men that are wise
Well, two men, that is, let's cut it down to size,
Though to some their appointments were not a surprise,
Alasdair and Dickie will propel us into the skies.

For students, though, the year has been short on glee
Queuing in the chillsome wind to pay some pesky fees
But whilst that has crippled them and brought them to their knees,
Zoe Ball and Robbie Williams seem to keep them appeased.

Summer seems so far away but we're all still convalescing
Exams were seen by some as a distraction and a blessing
Certainly it wasn't those over which we were stressing -
That match in the World Cup was far more distressing.

Here at the Info Office that event was eclipsed from afar
When September saw a discovery which caused a brouhaha -
An astrological story made Kevin a media star
The whole 'Planet Kev' thing was rather bizarre.

So, the year's been eventful, dramatic and busy
New Labour, Ofsted, QAA - it's enough to make you dizzy,
But now it's time to relax, don't get in a tizzy,
It's Christmas - stuff your face and drink something fizzy!

Picture This.....

Talking of bubbly, a bottle will be given to the most amusing caption for this picture. Taken in the summer on National Car Free day, the picture features the VC Alasdair Smith and Liberal Democrat MP Norman Baker. Entries by 16 December to the Information Office (67)8888 or email: internalcomms@sussex.ac.uk.

Wind in the Willows Quiz

Two family tickets to the Gardner Arts Centre's production of the Wind in the Willows are up for grabs. All you have to do is drop your answers to the questions below in to the Information Office. The deadline for entering the competition is Tuesday 15 December, and the winners will be announced on Wednesday 16 December. Poop poop!

1/ Who was the illustrator of Wind in the Willows?

2/ When was the book published?
(a) 1890; (b) 1908; (c) 1932

3/ "The young man gives [Wind in the Willows] to the girl with whom he is in love, and if she does not like it, asks her to return his letters. The older man tries it on his nephew, and alters his will accordingly." Who said that?
(a) Ezra Pound; (b) A A Milne; (c) T S Eliot

4/ For whom did Kenneth Grahame write Wind in the Willows?

5/ Who wrote the acclaimed adaptation of Wind in the Willows for the National Theatre?
(a) Alan Bennett; (b) Mark Ravenhill; (c) Alan Ayckbourn.

The Good, the Bad and the Beautiful....Famous Names on Campus

A trawl through the University directory will tell you that the campus is home to a host of celebrities. Never mind distinguished alumni, we could fill a Who's Who with the catalogue of paparazzi-magnet names gracing the University right now....

Pete(r) Townshend - His plea 'I hope I die before I get old' doesn't seem to have been successful, as the Who guitarist has engineered a shift from big-nosed maverick to big-brained boffin, and become a Sussex professor. At least it's still more rock'n'roll than advertising credit cards, eh Roger?

Nick Jagger - All attempts to disguise his identity with an erroneous N have been thwarted, as this man you wouldn't let your daughter date has been spotted on campus. Gone are the fulsome lips and lithe, leather clad hips, gone are the khaftans, the drugs and the succession of leggy blondes. The man who wouldn't be dragged away by wild horses has found that rock don't bring no satisfaction and turned to investigating the trends of the employment world. Still waiting for a factory girl?

Mary Stuart - The hapless monarch demonstrates her commitment to continuing education through her dogged determination to remain at large in a world most people thought she had left 500 years ago. Wonder what she thought of the new Elizabeth film?

Richard Burton - Speaking of Elizabeth....the Welsh movie-giant himself has turned up at Sussex, and his allegiances have treacherously switched to France. At least he should know a thing or two about a decent tipple these days - a little French suavity can mean the difference between one's nose in a glass and one's head in the glass.

Robert Smith - From shoegazing to stargazing, the Cure frontman has ditched the misapplied lippie and the spiky lacquered locks and gone for an entirely new sophisticated look which has gained him an altogether more salubrious new cult following in CPES.

Roger Taylor - From tennis balls to buckyballs, the ex-English pro has been working his alchemic magic in CPES. In his other incarnation as the raven-haired Duran Duran drummer, Roger's appearance in the Girls on Film video gained him the controversial title of 'wild man' of pop. The combined fame of these dual roles caused him to make an early transition from the pop charts to the periodic table.

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