Prinny writes ...

Christmas approaches once more and I shall be forced to spend the whole ghastly period at Windsor with His Majesty (who currently thinks he's a pig farmer in Yeovil). Anyway, my attention has been drawn to some research done by semi-domesticated sociologists on why female students are outperforming male students. Boiling it all down to a simplistic statement, which grossly misrepresents the details of the research, it seems that women are better students because they are nicer people than men. This amiableness furthers their academic careers and obviously assists them in becoming shop assistants, secretaries and homemakers. How nice.

A national survey has also concluded that our student population is a complete mystery to the academic community. Apart from having jobs which require an hour-per-week commitment which outstrips all their lecturers, (but on a much smaller stipend), they are very much the product of their age. They are only interested in education inasmuch as it can assist them in procuring a well-paid job with substantial pension benefits. This is the one fact which many of our academic colleagues cannot grasp: students are not, by and large, trainee academics. One can only giggle when distinguished academics express their exasperation at a student's admiration of Zoe Ball - as if most should name Richard Dawkins or Elaine Showalter. Some would say that we, the University, should discourage student employment. They should note that our Student Employment Office had 6000 enquiries during Registration.

The departure of Mike Fitzgerald from Thames Valley University is a blow against progressive ideas in HE and a victory for extreme left wing trade unionists who never fully accepted Fitzgerald. What is clear is that the external perception of quality assurance is almost as important as the processes put in place. Fitzgerald's action to protect the interests of his students has been turned into a dumbing down exercise. How unfair but how predictable.

The Christmas respite is greatly anticipated - despite the frantic chaos of family life, it is at least non-academic or non-administrative chaos. The upcoming year is unlikely to be more relaxing and by this time next year we'll be worried about a Continuation Audit, so I can only advise you to drink deep from the bowl of joy this festive season - for tomorrow we'll be sober.

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