Prinny writes again

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In 1998 and 1999 Prinny entertained Bulletin readers with his somewhat irreverent view of campus life. Now it seems that his gentle satire has had an impact far and wide (well, across the Academic Corridor, anyway) -

I have been abruptly woken from my mid-afternoon nap by an excited courtier, belatedly brandishing a cheaply bound tome called Managing Strategy by our esteemed neighbour, Sir David Watson.

I cannot recommend this challenging document to you too highly, and my endorsement is not based on the delightful fact that I am quoted twice within its rough pages (pages 2-3 and 91-92).

I fear he has mistaken my light satirical touch for disaffection or even, Heaven forfend, sarcasm.

"At the academic coalface of teaching, research and related 'service', strategic statements can be regarded along a continuum of negativity from indifference to world-weary cynicism," he writes. "Here, for example, is 'Prinny' - the anonymous faculty correspondent in the University of Sussex Bulletin - musing on strategy and change."

All around are the clamours for change - I say we must resist it all. Universities are not about 'change' - they are temples of knowledge tended by middle-aged men in corduroy trousers who understand the laws of the universe. Universities aren't part of society, reflecting the needs of the populations - the sun-splashed ivory towers stand today as they always will. Wilson is devaluing the pound, Bobby Moore is the best defensive player in England - if we close our eyes, it will always be 1967!

"At the core of such cynicism is the issue of loyalty," writes Sir David. "Traditional academics do not regard themselves so much as working for a university as working in it."

This first use of my work fails to recognise the subtle use of ridicule to suggest that there may be amongst my colleagues individuals who don't appear to have read the Higher for the last 15 years.

In the section on 'Preparing for strategic management', Sir David quotes from my former Bulletin column to illustrate the "cynical and acerbic" view of senior management on the part of the academic community.

"Here is 'Prinny' from Sussex again," he writes, "musing on his (or her?) long wait during the spring and summer of 1998, for a replacement vice-chancellor."

'Friends trapped within the Sussex House bunker tell me that they can 'barely stay wake' with excitement over the appointment of a new Vice-Chancellor. An advertisement, headed 'Smart Boy Wanted', has been placed in the window of the Post Office in the Refectory, and informs us that the actual work for finding Professor Charming has been given to a temping agency. Even more extraordinary - it seems that the agency is looking for suggestions, cutting down on the effort required in order to nab that fee, which can then be sent to them by popping a name on a piece of paper, putting it in a bottle and lobbing it off the end of the Palace Pier. The University has the opportunity to appoint someone who would lead from the front, armed with clear ideas, prepared to face up to the future. I fear that what we'll get is a safe pair of hands from an obscure source with a 'problem with the vision thing'

He moves on with this second use of my work to call it "self-knowingly destructive" - unfortunately, I am too resolutely philistine to know what he means by this. I thought the piece an elegant spoof on appointment procedures, displaying a weary pessimism about finding a genuine leader (a pessimism dispelled by the appointment of the Lad o' Pairts). And as for questioning my gender - well! Has he no education?

If Sir David wishes to co-operate on any future books, I can be contacted via the Bulletin office - but not between 2pm and 4pm, when I'm doing my research into the effects of rich food on the napping process.

• Managing Strategy by Sir David Watson (Director of the University of Brighton) was published in March 2000 by the Open University Press.