From wjw@dmu.ac.ukWed May 29 15:29:36 1996 Date: Wed, 29 May 1996 15:23:42 +0100 (BST) From: Weiji Wang To: int-club <101534.635@compuserve.com>, 95132120@brookes.ac.uk, bchlujh@leonis.nus.sg, beitwang@vax.ox.ac.uk, bgao@sable.ox.ac.uk, bu@robots.ox.ac.uk, Caigong.Qin@comlab.ox.ac.uk, cdqin@phy.cuhk.hk, CDXXL@NASAGISS.GISS.NASA.GOV, cehsy@cthulhu.newcastle.edu.au, cherry@bioch.ox.ac.uk, chzlin@usthk.ust.hk, clme0011@sable.ox.ac.uk, Daming.Wu@durham.ac.uk, dchen@dmu.ac.uk, deliang@minmet.uq.oz.au, dequanw@corel.ca, econig@vax.ox.ac.uk, elechend@leonis.nus.sg, esljiang@vax.ox.ac.uk, gang.liu@eng.ox.ac.uk, gao@molbiol.ox.ac.uk, gaoy@crl1.crl.aecl.ca, gtzheng@hitnet.hit.edu.cn, guoguang.yang@eng.ox.ac.uk, Guozhu.wu@comlab.oxford.ac.uk, han@icrf.icnet.uk, hanyan@sp1.sftw.umac.mo, hlu@vax.ox.ac.uk, hw@ntu.ac.sg, j.tan@rl.ac.uk, J.Yang@open.ac.uk, jgzhang@dreamon.oxmol.co.uk, kun.guo@physiol.ox.ac.uk, L.Jiang@elec.gla.ac.uk, lihong.chen@st-hildas.ox.ac.uk, limei@servidor.dgsca.unam.mx, lwcao@cityu.edu.hk, maqi@uxmail.ust.hk, meyfli@cpccux0.cityu.edu.hk, Ming.Yao@brunel.ac.uk, ming.yun@materials.ox.ac.uk, ming@elm.chalmers.se, ming@ox.vax, mingchun.zhu@some.ox.ac.uk, mit95sx@dmu.ac.uk, mzpwang@ntuvax.ntu.ac.sg, oedjbh@fasolt.eng.ox.ac.uk, Peixiong.Lin@comlab.ox.ac.uk, pw2@soton.ac.uk, Q.Zhang@cabi.org, qingyou.han@materials.ox.ac.uk, qiny@aecl.ca, qiny@crl1.crl.aecl.ca, qxu@iist.unu.edu, rao@biop.ox.ac.uk, Shaori.Guo@comlab.ox.ac.uk, shchen@ox.vax, ShenJY@sp.ac.sg, shli@hkuxa.hku.hk, shyong@cc04.ccit.edu.tw, SLHUANG@vax.ox.ac.uk, spet0130@sable.ox.ac.uk, sunny@vax.ox.ac.uk, szlu@mtu.edu, terry_su@il.us.swissbank.com, usfmc2mn@ibmmail.com, USFMC2MN@IBMMAIL.COM, w.gao@auckland.ac.nz, wangl@maths.ox.ac.uk, wei@stats.ox.ac.uk, wjw@dmu.ac.uk, wwang@PO-Box.McGill.CA, x.chen2@physics.ox.ac.uk, xgao@hgmp.mrc.ac.uk, xiangkun.zhu@earth.ox.ac.uk, xiao@vax.ox.ac.uk, xiaofeng.wang@eng.ox.ac.uk, xiaohong.yang@rug.ac.be, xie@murdoch.edu.au, xie@robots.ox.ac.uk, xinshe@maths.ox.ac.uk, xkl@dmu.ac.uk, yan@churchill.co.uk, yan@vax.ox.ac.uk, ycg@born.thchem.ox.ac.uk, yi.huang@liv.ac.uk, yiping@vax.ox.ac.uk, yjli@vax.ox.ac.uk, yun.fan@physics.ox.ac.uk, YYL1@LEICESTER.AC.UK, zhai@vax.ox.ac.uk, zhanfeng.cui@eng.ox.ac.uk, zhang@salamis.emu.edu.tr, ZHAOYZ@novell2.bham.ac.uk, zheng@comlab.ox.ac.uk, zhu@vi.rl.ac.uk, ziguo.zhang@plant-sciences.oxford.ac.uk, zjiang@vax.ox.ac.uk Subject: INTERNET CLUB NEWSLETTER MAY ISSUE ******************************************************************** INTERNET CLUB NEWS LETTER May Issue IC9605A Vol. 2, No. 10 (Total No. 18) 1996.5.27 ******************************************************************** Editor of this issue: Yi Qin (Canada) --------------------------- Special Issue: Oh, CANADA! --------------------------- Preface ------- Yi Qin My wife and I immigrated to Canada in late 1994. The scene of leaving Oxford is still like yesterday. After a year or so, I have understood this country better, and would like to share some of my feelings, plus those from WU Dequan, another Oxford friend who moved here around that time, with the old and new friends who value this Newsletter dearly. I have to stress that the opinions expressed in this issue of the Newsletter are purely personal. Readers may or may not share the same value due to the different personal background. Therefore, readers' discretion is advised. We would like to take this opportunity to wave hello to those who had made our work, study and life in Oxford such enjoyable experiences. And welcome you to visit this maple leaf country of Canada. Contents: --------- 1. Introduction of CANADA (QIN Yi) 2. Be Prepared for the Culture Shock -- My Impressions of Canada (WU De Quan) 3. Personal Accounts of Corel (WU De Quan) 4. Q&A: Life in Canada (QIN Yi) 5. Help Wanted (LIU Yan Ping) 6. Humors (Selected by QIN Yi) 7. Name List * * * * 1. Introduction of Canada: A COUNTRY OF MAPLE LEAF ================================================== QIN Yi -The Natural Resources- Canada is one of the largest countries in the world, only second to Russia. Its population is certainly the smallest among the big countries. There is a roughly 20,000,000 population in Taiwan. Canada has 27,000,000 people. Canada is a country with great amount of natural resources, especially fresh water. In fact Canadians have more share of freshwater than people from any other countries. There is a saying, in Canada there are more lakes than people. It is better to see that from the air, when you fly over Canada the next time. Trees are in their plenty. It is for sure that there are more trees than people. Yes, indeed, Canada is a country of trees. Event its national flag is decorated with a maple leaf. The most beautiful colour is in the late fall/autumn. Driving along the country road is enjoyable. Anything that is green in summer turns red in September. The road linking my company site and Toronto winds through a provincial park (150km in length). I extremely enjoy the drives during the season on the business trips to Toronto. If you enjoy the scene with plenty of trees, lakes, rivers, and mountains, Canada is definitely the place you should not miss in your tourist plan. -The Climate- Canada is cold. Yes, it is! But not as cold as some may think. The beautiful southern British Columbia is just like England. A lots of rain and greens. Southern Ontario is not too bad at all. There are a couple of months of winter, and a long summer. It is interesting that Canada has very short springs and falls. Ottawa is regarded as the coldest national capital in the world. Well, it depends on which year it is. Last year was a damn cold and snowy one. If I make a comparison of Canadian climates between Canadian and Chinese cities, Toronto is like Beijing, Ottawa is like Shen Yang. Vancouver is more or less similar to Qing Dao. As Canada is quite cold, cars sold in Canada have to match the Canadian auto-spec. Some Japanese and American cars are designed for use in Canada. Block heaters are a popular device in winter to keep the car engine warm and to have an easy start in the cold morning. On the other hand, car air conditioning is more necessary than in the UK, as the summer is pretty warm, if not too hot. Sunroof is not that necessary -- sunshine is almost always available through out the year. -The Life- The Canadian life is what I called leisurely. Canadians feel they are close to the nature, and outdoor activities are enjoyed to their best. On a sunny weekend or a long holiday weekend, there are thousands of boats on the lakes and rivers. Out of curiosity, I counted the boat ownership of my neighborhood. Over 50% of the families own boats, sailing boats and motorised boats. Hm, a boat should go on my wish list. Fishing is one of the summer sports and a big pastime. I myself is a big fishing fun. I had never gone fishing, but got immediately hooked to the game the very first time when I went fishing with the local friends. Not boasting at all, we didn't buy any fish from the supermarket last summer -- all fished from the Ottawa River. Almost I always broke the fishing law, as each time I got more than two each species as limited by the law. Of course, fishing isn't the only game. A lot of people do deer hunting, intentionally or unintentionally. You'll need a gun if you look for deers. You only need a car, and deers will look for you. Car accidents are not unusual due to collision with deers. So, don't ignore the road sign when you drive -- its not fun at all if your car kisses a deer or moose. Other popular sports and pastimes include canoeing, kayaking, hiking, traveling, etc. Oh, yes, traveling is a very good way to kill your time. Driving from Vancouver (West coast) to St. Johns (East coast) will take you two weeks easily. Skiing is enjoyed by everyone. There are many ski resorts in different provinces. Five minutes drive from my home is the local cross-country club. An hour's drive takes us to a nearby down-hill ski resort. The best ski resorts are in the Rocky Mountains near Calgary where the 1988 Winter Olympic Games was hosted. Sport is certainly not everything. The saying, "One hundred miles is a long distance in England, one hundred years is a long history in Canada", is more than true. For people who are really into history and art may find what Canada can offer is somewhat limited comparing with the wealth of classics in the UK, especially in Oxford. There are a few national level art galleries in different big cities, such as the National Art Gallery in Ottawa and Ontario Place in Toronto. Most exhibitions are the works of this century and lack the colour of history. The tones are young and light. As for the performing art, the stage performances generally are not as comparable as those at Royal Albert Hall, Covent Garden, etc. in London. Musicals gained better popularity than classical operas here. Toronto is one of the key art centres in North America. To our surprise, Pavaroti, Domingo and Careras are to stage yet another return of the three tenors in the Skydome Stadium, Toronto early next year. You shouldn't miss it if you happen to be in the area. An important factor in quality of life is the sense of security. The social structure in Canada is more stable than the big brother south of the border. Very much like in the UK, you enjoy various benefits including medical coverage by the government. The average crime rate is lower than the States. Probably it's because Canadians are less aggressive than Americans. This feeling is especially obvious if you enter the States from Canada. Some people think that the Canadian socialist system buys stability with higher cost of taxes. The tax you would pay is at a comparable level with what you are paying in the UK combining NI. Talking about salary, you'd pretty much get the same figure of compensation as in the States, but the figures are in Canadian dollars. There have been heated discussions on this. Some argue that although the Canadians have less income than the Americans in the absolute terms, the cost of living is not as high as in the States. Many things that cost 1 US$ in the States cost 1 CDN$ in Canada. Schooling costs much less than the American's if you want your kids to have decent education. Also, it's generally accepted that the US companies put higher pressure on employees and offer higher compensation. Working for extra hours without additional compensation is a natural way of life in the US. Some Canadians argue that, what is the point to earn big bucks while you have no time and energy to enjoy it with your family. But of course everybody wants a bit more money in their pocket. So, you judge the validity of the argument from your own view point. Putting these arguments aside, moving between the two countries has never been easier than now. Canadians or Americans can work in the other country with very simple paper work from the other government. Going to the States for other purposes is very simple as well. Once you are granted a visa, it's good for ten long years with unlimited number of entries. It's a good thing to have if you don't want to often see the ugly faces of the US consulate officers. -The Industries- Canada is one of the G-Seven countries. It boasts strong forces of telecommunication industry, computer industry, motor industry, natural resource and agriculture industries. Northern Telecom is a notable world leading telecom giant for the next generation of communication systems. The trade mark of Corel is familiar to many, and Corel is currently the owner of WordPerfect. Most North American and Japanese motor manufacturers have plants operating in Canada, such as Ford, GM, Chrysler, Honda, Toyota, etc. In recent years, a few cities have become the favoured homes of hi-tech companies. The Ottawa area is called the Canadian Silicon Valley, hosting hundreds of computer and telecom related companies. If you want to settle in these cities, Ottawa should be the choice of the landing city in your consideration. Industries of other subjects, such as material sciences, mechanical engineering, chemistry, etc., are out shined by the hi-tech industries. Most hi-tech companies are seriously under staffed, and it is a good opportunity if you look for a career shift to the hi-tech area. A recent published figure showed that in the Ottawa area alone about two thousand vacancies were registered. -The Culture and The People- Canadians are all immigrants. The only local Indian residents were driven to the remote reserves. These "locals" are politely called "the first nations". The US is a melting pot of cultures, all melting into the American culture and losing their own identities. In Canada, the federal government promotes multi-culturism. It is encouraged to preserve your cultural heritage. This is quite debatable whether true multi-culturism is good or not. But it certainly benefits people who join the nation after others. The English culture has strong influence in Canada. From the streets, the radios and the workplace, you can hear that British descendants are everywhere. There are also people from Russia, Italy, France, India, south America, Africa, etc., etc. During the last 20 years or so, the Chinese community is merging as a strong economic force in the society. A distinctive trend of the growth of the Chinese influence is that the new Chinese immigrants are of higher educational quality. Their first choice of occupations are finance and hi-tech oriented, delinking Chinese with restaurants. Take the company of Northern Telecom for example, of its many thousand work force at its Ottawa sites, 8% are Chinese. You can see Chinese faces at all levels of positions, from clerks to CEOs. In some cases, the Chinese influence may have come overly strong. A few restaurants don't even have English menus and signs. The Toronto China Town is the second largest in the world only behind the San Francisco China Town. You can buy whatever you could find in China there, even including Chinese stuff I have never seen in my life. The restaurants are excellent in both quality of food and prices. For a table of dinner with Lobsters dishes, it costs up to CDN$20 per head. The only problem I had there is the awful nonmusical noises of several Karaokes singing at the same time. I am sure our Oxford singers can give much better shots. Career competitions are based on candidate's qualifications, rather than if you are a Chinese, European, or anybody else. Peoples of different cultures tend to more accept each other at the work place and in the neighborhood. My biased personal impression is that it is the British immigrants who tend to have strong feelings against other cultures, especially to people from Asia. I certainly accept that my opinion is biased as I haven't been able to speak to all immigrants to Canada from the UK. As I have said, Canadian are generally not as aggressive and resenting to the new comers. During the first few days of our landing in Ottawa, we were greeted many times with "Welcome to Canada!" at the immigration desk, on streets, in shopping malls, when people learned that we were new immigrants. It is really a nice feeling to have such greetings when you step on a strange land with no acquaintance nearby. --End 2. Be Prepared for the Cultural Shock ===================================== -----my impression of Canada WU De Quan Everyone of us has experienced the violent collision between Chinese culture and the western culture when we first came to England. But not so many of us are surprised by the collision. Why? We had expected that even before we came to England. After all, it is an alien land and we were bond to meet strange things there. However, very few people had expected to get shocked when they moved to North America. I was one of them. May be "cultural shock" is a little bit exaggerated phrase here. After staying in England for five years, I did not expect to see much difference in Canada. The first thing that took me by surprise is the banking system. Here they charge you for the cheque book, they charge you for most of the transactions you make either by cheque or by the cash card. The most funny thing is that if you receive a bad cheque from another person, you will be fined for that, not the person who wrote the bad cheque! We all have taken the British banking system for granted, only when we leave it behind, we start to miss it. If people ask me what do I miss England the most? I would say TV programs. In Canada, my cable TV provides me with 45 channels. None of them is as good as British TV. Although I was not so serious about British series, but I do miss EastEnders, Brookeside, Coronation Street, etc. I especially miss the comedy Putting Up the Appearance. My apology to those who are offended by my bad taste. Of course, I miss BBC 9 o'clock news. If people ask me what do I NOT miss England? I would definitely say food! Here in Canada, restaurants are relatively cheaper and we have more choices. I remembered the first time I went to a Chinese Buffet in Montreal China Town, I paid equivalent to #5, there were more than one hundred dishes (literally!) and you can eat as much as you can!, the place was so big, the waitresses were carrying walky-talky to communicate with each other. I had to admit that I fed myself so much, I could hardly stand up after I finished the meal. Reflecting on the Chinese Buffet in north America, we can get a taste of American culture. Everything is big, strong, in abundance and to the extreme!!! If you like more choices, you can have more than sixty (TV) channels. If you like movies, there are movie channels, 24 hours movies; if you like news, CNN Headline News provides 24 hour news service every half hour; if you like sports, you have sports channels, if you like rock music, there are rock channels, etc. And if you like weather forecast (like my father does), you can have 24 hour non-stop weather forecast channel. Amazing! It looks like that you should be satisfied by the abundance, but you only hurt your stomach and lose your appetite. Here in Canada, the racial or national problem is less obvious than in England. In England I was always reminded of being a foreigner. The most frequently asked questions in England was: Where are you from? Answer: China. Are you a student? Answer: Yes. I am studying blah blah blah. Are you going back to China? When? Answer: ? Here in Canada, I am still a foreigner, nobody ask me where I am from. People do not care where you are from, nobody is picking you on your foreign accent. The important thing is that I do not care either. If you ask me whether I am happy here, I would say: ?yes, indeed.? without hesitation. North America is different from England. In coming to Canada, you gain something, you lose something. Do not expect too much. My experience: your highest expectations plus your worst preparations divided by two should be your impression of Canada. My final word, if you come to Canada, do not forget to drop to see me. You can contact me at: email: dequanw@corel.ca, tel: 613-241-7467(home), 613-728-0826 ext 1634(work). Best of luck to you all!! --End 3. A Brief Personal Account of Corel Corp. ========================================== WU De Quan Many of you may have already known Corel Corp. by its flagship product CorelDraw. It is the best computer graphics software in the world. Corel was founded by Dr. Michael Cowpland in 1985. The first version of CorelDraw was intended to artists. Even the chief engineer Pat Beirne did not expect the sales could exceed one million in the first year when it hit the market. (It sounds that there are much more artists out there than they had thought.) Since then, CorelDraw has won many international awards, and the company grows with the newer versions of CorelDraw. CorelDraw6 is already in the market. The company had three sites, the headquarters is in Ottawa, Canada, there is a branch in Orem, Utah, and another branch in Dublin, Ireland. Yes, CorelDraw in the cash machine of Corel Corp., but Corel has many other products as well. Now we have CorelCAD (for engineers), CorelVentura(for desktop publishing), CorelInternetMania(I am not sure about the name here, for our dear netlanders). Apart from software products, Corel also has publishing business. Corel produces large amount of CDROM publications, such as high quality high resolution photos, CDROM for medical education, cooking menus, world classics(Shakespear, etc), and other multimedia products. In February this year, after acquiring WordPerfect from Novell, Corel became the biggest software company in Canada, second largest software company in the world, second only to Microsoft Corp.(that is what they were talking about in the newspaper, as to what criteria did they reach the conclusion, I never figure out), competing head on with Microsoft (put it by Michael Cowpland). However, Corel realised the fact that in order to survive the highly competitive computer industry, she should grow bigger and the products should be more diversified. Since early 1996, Corel embarked on the telecommunication field by introducing another hot product CorelVIDEO. It is a videodonferencing product, it gives you high quality video signal together with very nice user interface. CorelVIDEO is going to replace CorelDRAW to become the next major products of Corel Corp. People sometimes ask, how come a computer graphics producer can produce good quality telecommunication products? Well, there is another story to tell here. Cowpland is the co-founder of the highly successful telecommunication company MITEL. And even before he founded MITEL, he had been working with Bell Northern Research for many years. Corel's chief engineer Pat Beirne designed the first PBX for MITEL. It became the major product of MITEL. Now Pat Beirne is the designer of CorelVIDEO. They have already had extensive telecommunication experience before starting Corel. Cowpland sold MITEL to British Telecom some years ago. Now, the name COREL sounds a bit strange. What does it mean? Some people even suggest to me, "Corel" sounds French (at least my former French landlady said Corel sounds French). Actually, Corel is the short form of "Cowpland Research Laboratory", when he first started the company, it was intended to be a research laboratory. It ends up becoming the biggest software company in Canada. I hope by now, I have not bored you to death! Disclaimer: All the opinions expressed here are of Wu De Quan?s opinions, he does not, under any circumstances, represent Corel Corp. Wu De Quan are responsible for all the mistakes and inaccuracies. You are encouraged to direct all your questions to Wu De Quan please. -- End 5. Q&A: Life in Canada ====================== QIN Yi Since landing in Canada, I have received many questions regarding almost everything that relates to the country, my decision process, and how I feel now. Here I just pick a few typical questions and share my personal opinions with readers. Please try not to say it's wrong or right. What is important is that I speak from the bottom of my heart. Q1: What's the main reason that made you decide to move to Canada? A: Hm..., it's really difficult to find an answer that would apply to everybody. But to myself, I am after a better quality of life. What's the quality of life? Different people have different definitions. I believe quality of life is defined by a number of factors that affect my life. Firstly, job satisfaction. Here I have a better environment to grow my career. Secondly, equal opportunities in competitions. In my company here, I can confidently assume appropriate technical responsibilities and leadership in the project. Since landed in Canada, I have never heard anybody kindly reminding me, "When are you going back to China?" Thirdly, higher standard of living. Salaries are higher and goods are generally cheaper. What else do you expect? There are many other factors I don't need to detail. Q2: What do you think you have lost by moving to Canada? A: To be honest, I lost a lot. I lost the close contact with many of my old friends in Oxford. It's never been as easy to see you guys as in Summertown, on Banbury Rd, at parties and gossip corners, and even at the Sainsbury's. I can't find anything in this country that is so beautiful and historical as the old Oxford buildings. I love the university park, especially the view from the library of Dept. of Eng. Sci. It's something so deeply engraved in the memory. I am also quickly losing my half-cooked English accent. :-) Q3: Who are in your social life? A: We still have a similar pattern of social life to when we were in Oxford. Some new additions to our daily life would include our neighbors, colleagues, etc. It's easier to socialise with people from different cultures in this country. Q4: What's the weather like and how do you cope? A: It's cold here in winter. I mean real cold! It's not unusual to see the temperature dropping below -20C for day time high. You need a good car to take you to work. Well, most cars are better than the popular Europeans cars. Special attention is needed to drive in the snowy weather. In the first month of arriving in Canada, I did a 4-spins on the highway driving at 100km/h. Luckily, there was no other vehcile on the highway and the car didn't end up in the ditch. We have many winter sports such as skiing, skating, ice fishing. Ottawa has the world longest man-made ice ring, 10 km in length. Coping with the cold isn't that difficult. It's warm inside the house and cars. You'll only need a heavy coat to cover you from the car park to the office building. If still not happy, you can install a remote controlled car engine starter, and you'll have guaranteed warm seats. Summer here is very sunny and hot. 30C is about the peak in July and August. There are few people wanting to expose themselves to the UV-rich sun light, which is different from what you guys usually see in a sunny day. Q5: Do you have any culture shock in Canada? A: Yes, quite shocked. They drive bloody too slow. I was caught twice for over-speeding (doing 70 mph) within the first six months, while I had never got anything for doing 90 mph on M40 for five long years. That's ridiculous! Q6: What kind of TV channels do you have in Canada? A: For people who subscribe Cables, there are about 25 to 40 channels to select based on the level of subscription. If you install a satelite receiver, you have about 160 channels to choose from. We pay for the Cables at about CDN$30/month. The contents are very much alike the Sky TV in Europe, all 24 hour programs of the same type. CNN is 24 hour news, TLC and Discovery offer 24 hour history and scientific documentaries, etc., etc. There are some channels we can find British productions like EastEnders, Mr. Bean, The Vicor of Dibley (?), Inspector Moorse, etc. My personal favourate programs are those about history, wars, animals (by David Attenborough), and scientific tomorrow. It's really difficult to discipline myself to stay away from the TV, because each channel plays the interesting programs on and on and on... Interestingly, we regularly watch News Report from the BBC World Service. Q7: Which country is better, the UK or Canada? A: Different countries have different pros and cons. It's really up to what you are after in your own life. For me, I believe I have more space to grow in Canada. 5. Help Wanted ============== Hi, there. I am looking for some introductory books on neural networks and their applications. Could anybody recommend some titles ? I shall do a brief summary of the recommendations in the next Newsletter. Please email or fax me your recommendations. Email: yan@churchill.co.uk Fax: 0044 181 313 5820. Yan Liu, Statistics Manager -------------- Tel: 0044 (0)181 313 5935 Churchill Management Ltd Churchill Fax: 0044 (0)181 313 5820 17 London Road, Bromley ============== KENT, BR1 1DE, UK Email: yan@churchill.co.uk 6. Humours ========== Selected by QIN Yi i) How cold is cold? Note: This humour tells how to use the relativity theory to understand the Canadian weather. ---- QIN Yi An annotated thermometer 60F - Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe) 50 - Miami residents turn on the heat 40 - You can see your breath Californians shiver uncontrollably Minnesotans go swimming 35 - Italian cars don't start 32 - Water freezes 30 - You plan your vacation to Australia Minnesotans put on T-shirts Politicians begin to worry about the homeless British cars don't start Your boogers freeze 25 - Boston water freezes Californians weep pitiably Minnesotans eat ice cream Canadians go swimming 20 - You can hear your breath Politicians begin to talk about the homeless New York City water freezes Miami residents plan vacation further South 15 - French cars don't start You plan a vacation in Mexico Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you 10 - Too cold to ski You need jumper cables to get the car going 5 - You plan your vacation in Houston American cars don't start 0 - Alaskans put on T-shirts Too cold to skate -10 - German cars don't start Eyes freeze shut when you blink -15 - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects Miami residents cease to exist -20 - Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you Politicians actually do something about the homeless Minnesotans shovel snow off roof Japanese cars don't start -25 - Too cold to think You need jumper cables to get the driver going -30 - You plan a two week hot bath The Mighty Monongahela freezes Swedish cars don't start -40 - Californians disappear Minnesotans button top button Canadians put on sweaters Your car helps you plan your trip South -50 - Congressional hot air freeze Alaskans close the bathroom window -80 - Hell freezes over Polar bears move south ii) If Operating Systems were Airlines... DOS AIR All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane, push it until it gets in the air, hop on, jump off when it hits the ground again. Then they grab the plane again, push it back into the air, hop on, etcetera. WINDOWS '95 AIRLINES The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants are all very attractive and the pilots very capable. The fleet is immense. After your plane arrives 6 months late, you begin to wonder why it has not arrived yet. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing above the clouds, and at 20,000 feet it crashes without warning. MAC AIRWAYS The cashiers, flight attendants, and pilots all look the same, feel the same and act the same. When asked questions about the flight they reply that you don't want to know, don't need to know, and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie. OS/2 SKYWAYS The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective passengers milling about. Airline personnel walk around, apologising profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside the terminal on the field. They tell each passenger how good the real flight will be on these new jets and how much safer it will be than Windows Airlines, but that they will have to wait a little longer for the technicians to finish the flight systems. FLY WINDOWS NT All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, placing the chairs in the outline of a plane. They all sit down, flap their arms and make jet swooshing sounds as if they are flying. WINGS of OS/400 The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguably the best and safest planes that ever flew and painted "747" on their tails to make them look as if they are fast. The flight attendants, of course, attend to your every need, though the drinks cost $15 a pop. Stupid questions cost $230 per hour, unless you have SupportLine, which requires a first class ticket and membership in the frequent flyer club. MVS AIRLINES The passengers all gather in the hanger, watching hundreds of technicians check the flight systems on this immense, luxury aircraft. This plane has at least 10 engines and seats over 1,000 passengers. All the passengers scramble aboard, as do the necessary complement of 200 technicians. The pilot takes his place up in the glass cockpit. He guns the engines, only to realise that the plane is too big to get through the hangar doors! UNIX EXPRESS Each passenger brings a piece of the airplane and a box of tools to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they want to build and how to put it together. Eventually, they build several different aircraft, but give them all the same name. Some passengers actually reach their destinations. All passengers believe they got there. 7. Name List ============ A-Z List of Club Members ------------------------------------------------------ BU Yonghong bu@robots.ox.ac.uk CAO Pei lwcao@cityu.edu.hk (Hong Kong) CHEN Dajun dchen@dmu.ac.uk Chen Desong elechend@leonis.nus.sg (Singapore) CHEN Lihong lihong.chen@st-hildas.ox.ac.uk CHEN Shuangli shchen@vax.ox.ac.uk CHEN Xin x.chen2@av1.physics.ox.ac.uk CHEN Yiping yiping@vax.ox.ac.uk CHEN Zhengming ming@ox.vax CUI Zhanfeng zhangfeng.cui@eng.ox.ac.uk http://www.eng.ox.ac.uk/people/zhanfeng.cui FAN YUN yun.fan@physics.ox.ac.uk http://www-atm.atm.ox.ac.uk/aopp/ocean/fan.html HAN Zhen han@icrf.icnet.uk GAO Bin clme0011@sable.ox.ac.uk http://www.eng.ox.ac.uk/~medbg/home.htm GAO Fu gao@molbiol.ox.ac.uk GAO Wei w.gao@auckland.ac.nz (New Zealand) GAO Xiu-qin xgao@hgmp.mrc.ac.uk GAO Yang gaoy@crl1.crl.aecl.ca (Canada) GE Y.C. ycg@born.thchem.ox.ac.uk GUO Kun kun.guo@physiol.ox.ac.uk GUO Shaori Shaori.Guo@comlab.ox.ac.uk http://www.comlab.ox.ac.uk/~sguo HAN Qinyou qingyou.han@materials.ox.ac.uk HUANG Jianguo oedjbh@fasolt.eng.ox.ac.uk HUANG Yi yi.huang@liv.ac.uk HUANG Sunli slhuang@vax.ox.ac.uk JIANG Li L.Jiang@elec.gla.ac.uk JIANG Zhixing zjiang@vax.ox.ac.uk LI Gang spet0130@sable.ox.ac.uk LI Ming ming@elm.chalmers.se (Sweden) LI Sheng Hua shli@hkuxa.hku.hk (HK) LI Xinkai xkl@dmu.ac.uk LI Youfu meyfli@cpccux0.cityu.edu.hk (Hong Kong) LIAO Xiao Han CDXXL@NASAGISS.GISS.NASA.GOV (US) LIN Peixiong Peixiong.Lin@comlab.ox.ac.uk Lin Zhenyang chzlin@usthk.ust.hk (HK) LIU Shaojia econig@vax.ox.ac.uk LIU Yanping yan@churchill.co.uk LIU Yuanyi YYL1@LEICESTER.AC.UK LIU Gang gang.liu@eng.ox.ac.uk LU Hui hlu@vax.ox.ac.uk Lu Jianhua bchlujh@leonis.nus.sg (Singapore) LU Shuzu szlu@mtu.edu (US) http://www.mm.mtu.edu/~szlu/ ftp://ftp.mm.mtu.edu/pub/szlu/ Qi Yuanwei maqi@uxmail.ust.hk (HK) QIN Caidong cdqin@phy.cuhk.hk (Hong Kong) QIN Caigong Caigong.Qin@comlab.ox.ac.uk http://www.comlab.ox.ac.uk/oucl/people/caigong.qin.html QIN Yi qiny@aecl.ca (Canada) RAO Zihe rao@biop.ox.ac.uk Shangguan Dongkai usfmc2mn@ibmmail.com (USA) SHEN Jiayao ShenJY@sp.ac.sg (Singapore) SU Lumin terry_su@il.us.swissbank.com Sun Yongqian sunny@vax.ox.ac.uk SHYONG (XIONG) Jian-Hua shyong@cc04.ccit.edu.tw (Taiwan) TAN Jun j.tan@rl.ac.uk URL: http://rcru.te.rl.ac.uk/~tan/ WANG Beitian beitwang@vax.ox.ac.uk WANG Han hw@ntu.ac.sg (Singapore) WANG Lin wangl@maths.ox.ac.uk WANG Peiyi pw2@soton.ac.uk WANG Xiaofeng xiaofeng.wang@eng.ox.ac.uk WANG Weiji wjw@dmu.ac.uk URL: http://www.dmu.ac.uk/~wjw/ WANG Wenbin wwang@PO-Box.McGill.CA (Canada) WANG Zhi-ping mzpwang@ntuvax.ntu.ac.sg (Singapore) WANG Zuolan wwang@vax.ox.ac.uk WEI Gang wei@stats.ox.ac.uk WU Daming Daming.Wu@durham.ac.uk WU De Quan dequanw@corel.ca (Canada) WU Guozhu Guozhu.wu@comlab.oxford.ac.uk XIAO Ping xiao@vax.ox.ac.uk Xie Hong xie@murdoch.edu.au (Australia) XIE Zhiyan xie@robots.ox.ac.uk XIN SHE xinshe@maths.ox.ac.uk XU Qiwen qxu@iist.unu.edu (Macao) XU Songqing mit95sx@dmu.ac.uk YAN Han hanyan@sp1.sftw.umac.mo YAN Hong 95132120@brookes.ac.uk YAN Youyou yan@ox.vax YAN Xuefeng esljiang@vax.ox.ac.uk YANG Guoguang guoguang.yang@eng.ox.ac.uk YANG Jenny Jie cherry@bioch.ox.ac.uk YANG Suidong J.Yang@open.ac.uk YANG Xiaohong xiaohong.yang@rug.ac.be (Belgium) YAO Jun yjli@ox.vax YAO Mingsheng Ming.Yao@brunel.ac.uk Yu Haisui cehsy@cthulhu.newcastle.edu.au (australia) YUN Ming ming.yun@materials.ox.ac.uk ZHAO Yuyuan ZHAOYZ@novell2.bham.ac.uk ZHAI Tongguang zhai@vax.ox.ac.uk Zhang Deliang deliang@minmet.uq.oz.au (Australia) ZHANG Jianguo jgzhang@dreamon.oxmol.co.uk ZHANG Limei limei@servidor.dgsca.unam.mx (MEXICO) Zhang Qiaoqiao Q.Zhang@cabi.org ZHENG Gangtie gtzheng@hitnet.hit.edu.cn (China) ZHENG Jianping zheng@comlab.ox.ac.uk ZHANG Ping zhang@salamis.emu.edu.tr (North Cyprus) ZHANG Ziguo ziguo.zhang@plant-sciences.oxford.ac.uk ZHONG Shouming 101534.635@compuserve.com ZHU Jiangguo zhu@vi.rl.ac.uk ZHU Mingchun mingchun.zhu@some.ox.ac.uk ZHU Xiangkun xiangkun.zhu@earth.ox.ac.uk Contributions sent to the editor-in-charge (or coordinator). Editors-in-charge: 1996 X January Wang Weiji (UK) ic9601a-b X Feburary Qin Caidong (Hong Kong) ic9602a-b X March Lu Shuzu (USA) ic9603a-d X April Zhang Limei(Mexico)ic9604a X May Qin yi, Gao Yang(Canada) ic9605a June Yun Ming (UK) ic9606a- July JIANG Li (UK) ic9607a- August WANG Han (Singapore) ic9608a- September TAN Jun (UK) ic9609a- October LI Ming (Sweeden) ic9610a- November YANG Xiaohong (Belgium)ic9611a- December ZHENG Gangtie(China) ic9612a- 1997 January XIONG Jian-Hua (Taiwan)ic9701a- Feburary QIN Caigong (UK) ic9702a- March ZHAO Yuyuan (UK) ic9703a- Co-ordinator: Wang Weiji Previous issues of the Newsletter can be obtained from: http://www.dmu.ac.uk/~wjw/int-club.html Copyrights are reserved by the authors ===============================END=======================================